Year 2 Blog 19- Genie, You’re Free

I’ve been staring at this empty blog page for about an hour…

I know I want to write but I just don’t know what I want to say. I guess I’ve fallen out of the habit of pouring my heart out on to my little blog- which is okay, I don’t want this blog to be a place where I very rarely post anything and then when I do it’s a whingy little blog…

So I find out about the job tomorrow.

I’m trying not to over analyse and to be honest- I have no idea what the outcome will be tomorrow and therefore people are telling me not to worry about it because I can’t change anything now- the interview’s done- and whatever the result is I have to live with that, so why bother worrying until I know and even why bother worrying when I do know.

It’s not as simple as that.

I don’t often talk about work on my blog and while I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of it all tonight- I’ve never known me be so willing to throw myself completely out of my comfort zone for something like I have with this. I feel like it’s made me really grow as a person- being responsible for the welfare of 10 people 5 days a week is a lot of work but it can be so worthwhile.

I’m just scared that, as of 11am tomorrow, I might lose all of that.

Ok- it’s not like, if I don’t get it, I’m getting chucked back on the phone tomorrow but I will know that it’s coming to an end. And okay- it’s not a permanent thing, nothing is, but with the amount of people they’re hiring and the amount of people starting to do manager progression stuff at work- I wonder when my next opportunity will come about.

I’ve been saying for the past couple of days that I couldn’t have done anymore on Tuesday so whatever comes about tomorrow is Ok because I know it’s not down to me not being prepared but I think I’m lying to myself because, when you put that much effort into something, it makes you want it even more.

This week has just been a funny old week with lots of stuff going on and I don’t quite know how i feel about all of it. Maybe I am over reacting by worrying but I wish people would stay ‘stop worrying, there’s no point’ it’s not like I come up to you and say ‘stop being so chilled out, there’s no point.’ It’s no different to me, I’m a worrier- it’s how I process things- I like to analyse what I’ve done and what other people have done- it’s how I learn and grow. I’m working very hard to really let the things go that I can’t control and simply focus on the things that I can but it’s a journey for me and it’s not going to happen overnight. If chilled out people want to be all hippy and relaxed about everything then brilliant, do that because it’s your thing but it’s not my thing and I’m really starting to get tired of people making me feel bad for trying to process my own thoughts in my own way.

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Deep breaths- it’s out. It’s been a while since I’ve ranted and whether I’ll actually press publish (if you’re reading this I think it’s safe to assume I did…) because I think I just needed to get it all out of my head.

To be honest, I think it’s just one of those weeks where I need my mum but she’s busy making a lemon drizzle cake that I can’t have because it’s 60 miles away, damn you lemony goodness!

I’ve not had an oven for 5 weeks so I can’t even make one myself…

Don’t rent if you don’t have to kids! I’m not really too bothered about the whole ‘dead money’ thing, at the end of the day I have a roof over my head, but having to rely on a flipping landlord when things go tits up…

The struggle in my life is real… #firstworldproblems

So yes- not that my entire destiny will be influenced by this but if you’re lucky enough to have fingers and toes maybe you could cross them for me tomorrow morning?

And, as a side note, I know I’m very late to this but…

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Year 2 Blog 18- Hire Me Eyebrows

Okay, so tomorrow is D Day…

Or I day…

That doesn’t work, fine! It’s my interview tomorrow! And I’ve never been so nervous yet so determined at the same time, it’s like having a lot of power but no idea how to use it!

I don’t know that people are understanding the pressure I’m feeling that a year of work on being a manager is coming down to how well I can talk about what I’ve done for an hour. I mean, lets be honest, we all know it can take me hundreds of words to get to my point…

And that’s on a blog, where I have the opportunity to think and to edit….

I can’t edit what I’ve just said- it’s already out there!

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However I don’t know why I’m worrying… I’ve got this whole thing sussed.

It’s all about eyebrows!

Wait! Hold your judgement! Hear me out!

A good pair of eyebrows can say a lot about a person- they’re well put together, they take pride in themselves….

And! My boss always has impeccable eyebrows, she will look at me and think ‘I can relate to her! Lets give her the job’

Therefore I’ve plucked moulded my eyebrows into the perfect ‘hire me’ shape. So while I’m talking I’ll just wiggle my eyebrows a few times (not in a weird way, just a ‘hey, remember we’re here’ kind of way)

It’s like a respectable version of using your boobs to get out of a speeding ticket! Which, if I get the job, I may have to try cause I’ll be able to afford a car!

I was also getting myself into a little bit of a state at work- the pressure was just building and building whilst I was doing some prep- another manager had to tell me to get a grip! If my life was an American sitcom (which would be so cool) he would have slapped me for being hysterical!

So I got a grip and then went and continued my interview prep, this time using coloured pens which made me extremely happy.

So to sum up- I have power that I don’t know what to do with so I’ve channeled it through my eyebrows and, really, I’m still a child.

As I just spilt some of my dinner on my top I can definitely confirm I’m still a child…

Wish me luck!

Year 2, Blog 17- It Wasn’t Even My Mother!

It seems Yorkshire had reverted back to the normal British summer time of not knowing what to do with itself. I’m sat here like a drowned rat after getting caught in a major downpour but I’m boiling…

What is this madness?!

Guys, I feel bad. Lots a new things are happening and you weren’t the first people I told, my mother wasn’t even the first person I told. I know what you’re thinking…

‘Amy you’ve changed!’

I have changed! And I like it, I’m happier, I’m busier but doing better things, I’m not losing weight right now (Don’t even get me started on how much I know I need to sort this out!) I feel like my life is more rounded. But you guys are getting left behind. I do love you, I promise. Maybe I should give you my number so you can bombard me with texts telling me to bl0g. Although it would only be all fun and games until the mental person got hold of my number and then we’re all for it cause they’d stalk me and kill me and then there’d be no more blogging from Amy who!

Maybe I’m over thinking things but best keep my number private just incase.

So lots of things have been happening recently- my parents have gone to Amsterdam to eat space cakes for the weekend, I’m getting a new oven, I’ve got an interview, I bought some very daring cushions with the word ‘hello’ on them…

It’s all happening in the world of Amy Who!

I have finally got an interview- same place, same job, it’s just an interview to make the managing gig permanent. It’s on the 12th of August so keep your fingers crossed for me. I’m already so nervous! Mr Amy Who (oh yes, he’s been upgraded! Not that we’re getting married but it seems he’s sticking around!) doesn’t understand why I worry. I don’t understand how he can’t! He’s very laid back and doesn’t tend to worry about anything, a nice balance since I tend to worry about everything but I feel like this is worth worrying over! I’ve put almost a years work into getting to this point and now it all comes down to 2 hours on the 12th of August….

That’s pressure!

The other thing that causes pressure- getting a 50th birthday present for my dad. A.k.a the man who has everything. Seriously- he has everything! I’ve had plenty of heated discussions about why a man doesn’t need an xbox 360 and a ps4 and doesn’t need a Bose speaker and a Sonos speaker… I just don’t understand it! But as he’s 50, I thought some effort needed to go into this….

Well!

Not only have I come up with a good idea, I’ve searched high and low to find the things I need to put it together, been caught in torrential downpours outside The Range and I’ve dropped part of it on my foot!

Seriously, I’m going to write out to all my nearest and dearest to inform them to stop having birthdays.

I joke! I jest! I was caught in a downpour but it’s not been that stressful. I just hope he likes it!

But that’s all that is happening in the world of Amy Who at the moment (so not a lot?) but I want to know how all you guys are getting on. I’m not going to keep making promises to blog more because, well, who needs the added guilt?! I am silently reading other peoples blogs but I so need to get back into it….

I knew I should have bought the chalkboard memo board at the Range, I would have put a reminder on there and then I definitely  maybe possibly would start to blog more

Year 2 Blog 16- You Should Always Thank Your Bus Driver

So this week kind of marked a momentous occasion for me…

I’ve been living in Yorkshire for two whole years….

That’s a long time. Ok maybe not compared to my 20 years spent in Lancashire but with the amount of changing and growing up I’ve had to do, it’s a lot to fit in to two years. Some momentous stuff has happened here- I went abroad by myself (fully aware Barcelona is not in Yorkshire but the idea was born here and I packed my suitcase here!) I went to my first Gay Pride festival (albeit a very low key Gay Pride festival. Bravo Bradford- it’s the thought that counts) I argued with a Spanish person on my doorstep, attempted to unblock a drain by shoving a skewer down it…

My life is one adventure after another.

Plus, I get to watch some pretty nice sunsets out of my window…

And I’m very happy right now, I’m finally getting into a place where I can call myself ‘settled.’

But I wonder…do people see me as a Yorkshire Lass?

I hope not, for starters, the word lass makes me want to simultaneously cringe and hit someone with a red rose.

But! I still feel this needs testing, so I turned to my good friend Buzzfeed who provide quizzes on everything! Including how Yorkshire you are! The way you are tested on how Yorkshire you are is by ticking whether you’ve done certain things, said things include but are not limited to…

  • Calling someone ‘love’
  • Feeling ‘groggy’
  • Having ‘dinner’ at 1pm

Nothern thing- not Yorkshire thing!

  • Thanking a bus driver

Are people rude everywhere else? You should always thank your bus drivers people!

  • Calling someone you like a Dickhead
  • Paying less than a fiver for a pint
  • Eaten a Yorkshire pudding as a starter

There is nothing wrong with a Yorkshire pudding and gravy as a starter…

Ok….

So there were 80 ‘things’ to say you’ve done and I got 26…

 

 

 

Which means I’m not especially Yorkshire!

Yay!

I prefer to think of myself as a dusty pink rose…

In other news! Check this out!

 

 

LOOK HOW CUTE!

So to sum up…

I can’t unblock a sink, I’m not very Yorkshire but Beagles are cute.

And- you should always, always, thank you bus driver!

Have a nice evening!

Year 2 Blog 15- Trying To Control The Upchuck Reflex On A Train

So here I am, a very sorry hungover mess on what appears to be the most humid train ever…

I am currently downing a red bull and trying to eat some wine gums in a vague attempt at doing the hair of the dog thing…

What? Wine gums don’t count?

Why am I such a failure at life?

I haven’t drank properly in months. Literally months, i also weigh a lot less since the last time I got drunk…

In other words, I’m a cheap date.

I’m off work, I had a nice day with the other half- what was the harm in a few drinks? Oh how very wrong I was!

Although- this is the most delayed reaction known to man. I gave up drinking about half twelve last night (after putting away half a bottle of Asda’s cheaper, stronger and nastier version of peach schnapps) and woke up at 6am feeling extremely hungover, I then rolled back over for a couple more hours to feel as fresh as a daisy.

However! At about 1.30pm- I started to feel…

Well, I think the best word would be iffy and have since been getting progressively worse to the point where I almost fell asleep on the bus and nearly puked at Bradford interchange.

I know, I know- classy lady!

So now I’m waiting for the wine gums to infuse into my blood stream so I can be vaguely presentable for seeing my parents for the first time in about 6 weeks because otherwise they’re just going to get a sweaty, shaking mess…

I’m trying to get through Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets but I just can’t do it! How can I picture another world when every fibre of my being is currently being used to keep the contents of my stomach in my stomach….

So in the words of every other twenty two year old out there…

Never again!

Year 2, Blog 14- Scented Candle Protocol

Ok something has happened…

Something wonderful, yet terrible, has happened.

A new Dunelm Mill has opened near me.

I know- I fear I may have built things up a bit too much there.

For those who don’t know, Dnuelm Mill is a store that sells home stuff.

Amazing home stuff.

I used to think if I won the lottery I’d travel the world or buy a car.

Now I just think I’d buy Dunelm Mill.

All of it. Including the store- and just make it my mansion.

And it would be the most stylish mansion ever!

I wouldn’t, however, keep the staff. Because one of them really creeped me out yesterday.

Unfortunately I haven’t won the lottery so I had to reign myself in on my trip to Dunelm Mill yesterday. I blame the other half, he works in a store just across the car park from the new Dunelm Mill and I went to go see him and just couldn’t resist going in. But I found a few nice things- including some amazing tea light candles that smell fricking amazing. I got some lime, mango and papaya and some cherry ones. I took them to the till and a rather lovely looking gentlemen served me.

I know what you’re thinking- Amy, this is all sounding really good so far.

And you’d be right, I thought my luck was in. It seemed like he batted for the other team and the other half was safely at work so I thought, no harm done in noticing he was rather lovely but then things got intimate…

Way too fast.

He was scanning my lime candles and then he lifted them up and had a sniff.

It wasn’t a quick sniff- it was a proper long and awkward inhale.

As he put them back down he then tried to break the tension by saying ‘good choice there’

I recovered whilst he scanned my tea towels and my forks (I am convinced the forks in my flat go into hiding. Or, maybe I’ve just accidentally chucked them in the bin when clearing my plate) and I thought we’d passed the awkward stage. Then he picked up the mango and papaya candles. The dread spread through me.

I mean, what’s the protocol here?! How are you supposed to act when a complete stranger inhales your candles?!

But he didn’t do it with the mango ones (maybe he has a fetish for the smell of limes?!) and went on to my face cloths but then we moved on to the cherry ones. And again, he scanned them with no issues (therefore cementing my theory that he has a fetish for the smell of limes) so I thought we were safe.

But he didn’t put things in the bag as he was scanning them, he just packaged them all in bulk at the end where he piled up all three packs and put them to his nose and inhaled.

AGAIN!

He lingered with the candles for way too long before declaring they smelled like a fruit salad.

He had tainted my candles! It doesn’t matter how gorgeous he is, he can’t just go round defiling my candles!

It just felt wrong when I lit some yesterday.

But they did smell like a fruit salad. Dammit!

 

Year 2 Blog 13- Munchkins Are Unnecessary

“No one mourns the wicked!

No one cries they won’t return!

No one lays a lily on their grave!”

I cannot believe it has been over three days since I was sat in the Leeds Grand Theatre hearing those lyrics.

Yes- I went to go see Wicked the musical on Saturday and Oh my God- it was fricking amazing.

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I find it hard to explain how overwhelming I find watching it and hearing the songs. I still don’t think to this day my parents understand why I broke down in sobs when we first went to see it in London two years ago but it’s just incredible moving to me.

I never really get that feeling of pure magic with anything else. I’m finding it hard to explain- it’s almost like that child-like awe/wonder. I get goosebumps, a lump in my throat and I’m just completely lost it in and it doesn’t look like something on stage to me, it just looks like this amazing world that I’m a part of…

The other half just text me and I completely lost my train of thought.

Damn- since when did I turn into a fourteen year old girl?

Maybe I’m just over reacting with all the feels about Wicked…

PLUS! It’s pretty much the story of the Wizard of Oz without the Munchkins…

Which just makes it ten times better.

There was just no need for them in the Wizard of Oz.

Those things freaked the shit out of me as a child.

Who am I kidding? They still freak the shit out of me.

Along with Oompa-Loompas.

It’s no wonder I have to watch Disney all the time, I can’t even handle perfectly normal childhood movies.

So yes, Wicked was completely amazing. Quite different experiences watching it in London and Leeds- Leeds’ theatre is much smaller which makes every seem more intense… There’s a scene with the Wizard of Oz that scares the crap out of you when you see it in Leeds because there’s not as much room for the loud sounds to get absorbed…

I’m trying really hard to explain without giving spoilers- which means I’m crap at explaining because I just want to tell you everything!

If you’ve never been to a show I would always recommend Wicked. I went with my friend Emma who has only been to see a musical once and it was Hairspray and they’re so completely different but she described it very well by saying it’s a very ‘epic’ show.

And it so is!

And one more thing….

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He’s a bit of alright isn’t he?

I know, I know! But I’m just looking!

As if  the new man in my life is the only reason why the above gentlemen is unachievable….

Those pants would have to go through (and be replaced by other pants, mind out of the gutter!) high waisted, skin tight, green pants…

Get away!